Raspberries & Homesickness

My first day living back in Irvine a few weeks ago, I bought a carton of raspberries from the Trader Joe's next to my apartment. I ate them paired with fresh mozzarella & evening air- but that's beside the point. Since that day I've walked through Trader Joe's probably another 3-4 times that same week. Each time, I've seen the same stand, with the same delicious raspberries. Each time, my mouth waters a little and I crave even just one berry. And each time, I've passed by the stand thinking- I'll get them next time.

Well today I made this familiar walk through Trader Joe's, and lo and behold, there was the stand! One problem: NO RASPBERRIES. Tons of blackberries, ripe strawberries, luminescent red currants- but not one raspberry. I missed my chance.

As most people living away from home will tell you, homesickness kicks in at the point where everything starts to feel familiar in the new place and you realize this isn't a short vacation; this is your new home. 
(Okay yes. I know I go to UCI- 40 minutes away from my home in Manhattan Beach... And I know I go home more often than I should. But... I STILL GET HOMESICK. Yeah I said it... SH. I'm cool.)

Now don't get me wrong- I love Irvine. My spot at my new Ambrose abode (Yes I've already claimed it my own), the quaint park next door, a communal friendly neighborhood and amazing roommates: it really feels like home. But when I was mildly ill and alone last week, nothing could have compared to lying on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep with my family and puppy by my side and the drone of dad's NBA basketball channel on in the background.

So what does this all have to do with raspberries???
Well when I went up to the stand to get those raspberries today and realized I'd missed my chance, it hit me that I already 'wasted' a week of my short time in Irvine wallowing over home and all its entails. Because the past just works this way, we can't relive days the way we wished we had originally lived them. And while it's the easiest thing to browse- Ok let's be honest: lurk- Facebook and my parent's Instagrams and let myself think about all that's going on at home, I am making a conscious decision to focus my attention on the here and now- the people, circumstances, and opportunities God has blessed me with right now, the experiences I'm about to have, and the joys yet challenges God sovereignly gives. (Oh and please don't get me wrong. Mom, Dad if you're reading this... You'll still see me every weekend! Hehe >:)

MORAL OF THE STORY?!

Buy the raspberries and enjoy them while you can- they could be gone tomorrow.

Summer Showers

Hello! I'm sitting in what used to be my brother's room. But since now that he has moved nearly 264,000 feet away... (If you calculate that it'll translate into a really long distance I'm sure of it) the room has transformed into something better. It is now our very new and blue study room! I find myself spending a lot more time in here when I'm home with my sister. The color BLUE is actually said to call to mind feelings of calmness or serenity and apparently research has shown that people are more productive in blue rooms. That explains a lot...

Productively night snacking on our latest finding!!! COOKIE BUTTER>NUTELLA+PEANUT BUTTER. But poor Ollie can't partake in our happiness. :( 

IN THE PAST 14 DAYS:
 I have been to:
A bridal shower
A baby shower
...The bathroom shower (my fav)
Oh, and speaking of showers... It lightly rain showered a few times last week in Irvine!!! YAY for all kinds of summer showers! =) =)

A Bridal Shower for Tammy!!! Congratulations again! Such a beautiful woman inside and out. :) 

A Baby Shower for ANGELA LEE! We can't wait to meet you Isaiah!!! :) 

I have seen:
Spiderman 3D &.. Peter Parker
The biggest spider in the world- now living at the guys' Berkeley apt (I refuse to put such a thing on my blog.)
The biggest dog in the world
Big Pelican-like creatures
My girlies
My b'friend... through my iPhone

Oh, Hello~

There was a crowd (of Asians) taking pictures of this famous puppy! It's only 4 months old!!!

... remarkable. 

Post finals celebration! :) 

Needy... sheesh. JK! Hello my good friend. :) 

What a productive hour! See?? The blue room has powers!!! :o 

Good night everyone :) 

#mindblowing

Today I sat in my car, at the park, and beside my bed for an accumulation of a few hours. I read, researched, napped, thought, thought some more, over thought; basically you name any function of the human brain- I did it. And it hit me- who does this? I mean who spends their time sitting in the stillness of his or her car, community park and room doing absolutely nothing? Probably one of the sweetest times well spent with the Lord. Reminded that the almighty, omnipotent Creator of this universe loves me- a love that goes far beyond the greatest human capacity- and that this faithful God constantly desires to pursue a personal, intimate relationship with me. We can come into a trustworthy relationship with this love and its Giver. What a wonderful Maker; what a wonderful savior! How amazing is our God! #mindblowing

We celebrated my beautiful grandmother's birthday today. It was a little different than usual since the boys are far away at college but thankfully we were all there to wish her the best birthday. =) 

Happy birthday Grandma =) We love you!

It's like they were there! Hehe :')

We miss you Jeremy! Come back to your sisters! :( 

Sleep and my sister are callin' my name. =) Bonsoir! 

Worth the Wait

Good morning! I went on a run this morning around the park nearby and as usual came back a little hungrier, a little darker, and a little more convicted. Something about running always has a way of letting loose for me. The ground and everything else seems to blur around me and I always find myself snapping my fingers to the steady thump of my footsteps and then I start thinking about what I want to eat right when I get home... =) This is usually the case but I guess this morning's run was a little different. Different in the sense that I saw probably the biggest squirrel of all time perched under my car (I think it was a raccoon hybrid or some kind of freak warm-blooded vertebrate from Mars) and also different in a way where I was extremely convicted, humbled, yet healed, encouraged, and challenged all within the matter of a 45 minute run.

I think I'm in a mood to write so I'll be aware and keep it short. Hehe. :) Lately there's been a sense of yearning in my soul, almost like an intense feeling of loss or lack and a longing for something. I guess it's always persistent, usually wistful but nonetheless it's there. I think I'm mainly referring to a longing for change or for things to hurry and speed up the way I envision it to be. I find myself compensating the unpredictable joys and blessings of the here-and-now with my idealistic and imaginary fantasies of the future. And naturally I become discontent, dissatisfied, and almost disillusioned with the time, place and circumstance God has put me in right here and right now. I guess if I state the issue in one sentence it's whether I am willing and whether I desire to wait upon the Lord, trust in Him and His promises and submit to and obey His will. If keeping Christ in the center and laying at the foot of the cross giving praise to Him who is worthy is how we retain our ultimate joy in Him then why is it so hard to do so?

I guess this was the issue tugging at my heart and I was convicted and reminded today of some awesome truths. We're always spiritually battling within the confines of our heart. It's like two natures- one lower, one higher: the flesh and Spirit. The flesh has no claim on us yet sometimes we deny this, listen to the promptings and desires of the flesh, capitulate and fall. But as Christians, we should mortify the flesh! And we can do so only by submitting to the supremacy of Christ- to His authority in every area of our being. It's an issue I actively must fight. Waiting on God and trusting him Him requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within myself the unanswered questions YET lifting my heart to God, crying out to Him and letting Him lead me in the way He sees I'll be most sanctified.

I have so much more to write but I'll close with a quote. S.D. Gordon describes 'waiting' well:
"Steadfastness, that is holding on; patience, that is holding back; Expectancy, that is holding the face up; Obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do; Listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear."
Definitely encouraged to live daily acknowledging that His faithfulness, mercies, and love are new every morning. I can wait upon and trust in this faithful Creator. How amazing!!!
Dang. This morning's run was pretty awesome! Must have been that freak vertebrate raccoon hybrid that's probably still chillin' under my car... Jk.

Yesterday spent lovely time catching up with my girls!!! SEEMs like forever ;)

SEEM. <3 Thankful for you girls!

Coca Cola: Keep it Real Folks. (8

Lovin' it

Hello everyone!

Since my last few posts, I went on a 3 week trip to Europe along the Mediterranean coast, went on a blessed missions trip to Mexico, came back with a bad case of food poisoning (which lasted a week.. still recovering), went on a day trip to SD, learned how to tie a bow-tie, watched my brother leave to college, signed the lease to my new apartment, and applied to multiple jobs. I must be growing up!
The last few weeks were some of the most relaxing days I've had in a long time. My weeks and weekends prior have always been on-the-go and I hardly had time to catch my breath. But I'm finally recovering from a busy month- a hodgepodge of exciting travel and transitioning back to real life and recovering from jet lag and poor health.
Right now I feel so... at peace. Content. Everything is where it should be. Nothing too amazing or terrible. I guess it's the calm period before the changes coming up soon. It's strange to describe since things are so mediocre. Definitely enjoying every day of my last month of summer and quality time with friends and family. :) Oh September! Why are you here so soon!
Here's what the last few weeks looked like:

It's game over once you introduce water and water games to the kids in Mexico. 

Definitely was game over for me. :( Ponty lookin' like he lovin' it. Lol. 

Canaan and Nasung youth group Love Mexico team! A privilege serving with ya'll. 

Came to grub on some Bomb.com tacos before we hit the border. Only in Mexico!

Spent a day and toured all around SD with this fella. :)

I used to be a ballerina in the 2nd grade... Trying to bring it back.

Thanks for a fun & memorable day! Let's go back :) 

Hollywood Bowl with the family before Jeremy left for school. :) Can't believe I hardly spend time in LA! I felt like a tourist in my own hometown.  Tickets were such a good deal! 

Spent quality time with my Cornell roomies at Tebo Tebo Lounge one last time before we move out this week!  A sweet reunion. :) 

Yay! Greetings from AMBROSE! =) =)

Sportin' our bowties!

Studying with Matt and Meg

Almost taller! :) Visiting me in MB. I feel like we're always at a beach. Favorite pass time spot? Haha =)

Went running this morning with my mom. Never knew I could get this dark so quickly! :( But nonetheless a good run. Thankful for quiet times and good convictions. Getting ready to hang out with my better half Sarah Chung soon! It was her first day of school today! Until next time... Sayonara!!! :D

Dwight Howard

We're going to win the Championships this year! 

It's like he was born to wear this jersey. =)

That is all!!

=)

Viva la Espana!

Currently in Barcelona, Spain. :) It's 8:15pm and we're getting ready to have dinner soon. Everyone eats dinner here at 9-10:00pm! Then afterwards is when Barcelona becomes its reputable party city. Finally... What I've been waiting for!! :o Just kidding. =) Barcelona is such a beautiful city teeming with tourists and taxi drivers who all drive Hybrids and Mercedes... European taxi drivers are pretty legit. I guess it's because these nice cars were produced here. But shoot. I wouldn't mind being a taxi driver in Europe. We visited a popular la mercado in the morning and sampled some candies, organic dried fruits and home made mushroom tapas. Afterwards we took the bus tour all around Barcelona for a few hours. My cousins and I enjoyed the scenery sitting up on the open view top-deck. You could only imagine a bright colored bus filled with enthusiastic picture-taking Asians. Hehe. :) We then visited the Barcelona Spain soccer stadium. FCB!!! I could totally imagine a packed blue and red stadium thundering with proud Spaniards cheering for their champion team.
The most interesting thing here in Spain (in my opinion at least) is that they have something here called 'la siesta' which means 'nap'- an activity that is very commonplace in a lot of the work offices and agencies. Most places close from around 1-4pm for las fiestas!!! I mean las siestas... Even better. I thought those ended in preschool. I wish America had nap times :(
We've all been napping more than we should.

Sneaky Leslie and Megan... Las siestas at its finest. Check out my brother's double chin. =)