The Calm during the Storm

It's crazy how months fly by when you're planning a wedding. It's already been almost half a year since our engagement and we ONLY have six months left! Thought I should blog more about my engagement experience so I can one day look back at this crazy time of life and... laugh.

The whole month of February was rejuvenating, productive and fun. So far my favorite month this whole year! Earlier in the month, my brother turned 21 so we had a surprise birthday party for him with family and friends. He was surprised for the most part until a few seconds later when my baby cousin shouted out, "Everyone be quiet- Jeremy's coming!!!" while the window was open. It was a great first party with that many people at our new home. The next weekend was Valentine's Day which turned out to be unexpectedly, spontaneously fun for the both of us. We hung out all day around Orange County and then went to d-town Disney to eat beignets. It was too bad our passes were blocked out, but then we randomly joined a free swing dance class in the middle of downtown Disney and I was wearing red so we were able to participate. It was so stress relieving and so much fun dancing with Matt and random strangers. Matt said he planned that all along...suure.
The third weekend of February we had our Inverse church retreat in Yucaipa. Not only were the owners and their dogs Korean, but they also served delicious Korean food and ban chan for our meals. Hands down best retreat ever. I'm so thankful I went and so grateful for my church community. Many were convicted, reminded and encouraged to seek God in all that we think, say and do. Work was once cursed but has been redeemed and being a servant of Christ, it is and should be our job to work humbly-joyfully to serve and glorify God to further enhance His kingdom.
Soon after the retreat, my roommates and I headed to rainy Portland, Oregon where we ate the best fried chicken and donuts, saw tons of bearded, hipster men in hipster coffee shops and breweries, and enjoyed each other's company in a cute air b&b where we met the friendliest cat, Oatmeal! It was refreshing to hike and enjoy the fresh air at Multonomah Falls, and every night we had at least two dinners because the food was that good. It was unfortunate that the air b&b only had one restroom. .. . Tmi?? Tmi..

Back to normal life which is always nice too. Because Matt is a full time grad student and because I'm at work most of the day, wedding planning is usually on pause throughout the week, and come Saturday and Sunday our days are completely packed. This past weekend was one of those weekends. On Saturday, we had premarital at 8am in Glendale, had my dress fitting at noon near Brea, met our photographer around 3 in Costa Mesa, had dinner with friends in Irvine and I came home to finish writing all the emails and follow up requests. The next morning at 8am we met our wedding coordinator back in Brea. CRAZY ! Who knew there was this much to do??

Everyday there's something to do, somewhere to go and things to think about. But in and through it all, God is there beckoning us to draw near to Him. God meets us in our deepest needs and in Him we can find true rest. Thank you Lord for never leaving nor forsaking me and for always listening to my deepest thoughts and prayers. Thank you for surrounding me with your presence when I'm by myself in traffic going and coming from work. Thank you for sending the Spirit in times of weakness and for reminding me of biblical truths.

May you be honored and glorified- exalted and lifted high!

E

Firework Show

Good mornin! I was so tired this morning and had the hardest time waking up. But we had a "Code Red" fire drill on the first floor and the whole building had to evacuate. Probably the first real fire drill I've experienced and I guess it woke me up a little. Zzz. Haven't been able to update because I've been so busy and so much excitement has happened in so short of a time!

Before I forget, recap to the weekend of November 8 when Matt and I got engaged! Probably one of the most meaningful moments thus far in our relationship. The past few years were filled with much joy but also a lot of change and transition that really tested our relationship. One thing I'm so thankful for is how persistent and unyielding he was in showing his love and commitment to me. On the day he asked me to be his girlfriend at the Starbucks next to UCI, he had written out his goals he had for our relationship and a few applicable verses. Few of those goals were that he would propose to me his second year of dental school and that he would never stop showing grace and love for me. Come engagement day, he read off the same thing and lo and behold- he's proposing his second year and I can definitely say that this man is a recipient of God's grace by the way he shows love and grace.
What Matt said would be a "Firework Show" at Corona Del Mar, was actually a "Sparkler show" at sunset for our engagement! Afterwards I was thinking... Firework show at 5:30? Really Erin??

Some pictures taken and edited by Lily and Robert.

!!!

sweet sisters

:') <3

always a good time 

After a crazy few months with new changes in relationship and work, finally get a few weeks off (much needed) for winter break. May we all find rest physically as well as spiritually through the comfort of His word this Christmas.

Hello Fall

Happy Monday :) Spent this whole morning at a UCLA neurology department meeting where I got to actually see Dr. Feinberg and Dr. Mazziota's faces. I saw them a few months back but only got to catch a glimpse of their semi bald heads and receding hair lines. They're really important people by the way... Bosses to my boss's boss. It was basically a meeting for the doctors and some of us staff got to sit in. Even though I had no idea what kind of medical terminology they were using, it was still fascinating to hear their discussion regarding upcoming medical research goals.

The most exciting thing about this meeting though was a 15-year-old high school student from Hollywood who came in as a guest to one of the head doctors in the Movement Disorder clinic. It's uncommon for high school students (under 18) to participate in research. But this 15 year old personally contacted the head chairman of UCLA Medicine saying that although only 15, he can and will make a difference to the school of medicine. He has so much going for him- top of his class with dreams of going to Harvard Medicine to become a neurosurgeon, volunteers and interns, speaks 5 languages, etc. But what stood out in his speech was when he said this: "I've adopted this mindset from a personal relationship I've had my whole life: that I came to serve but not to be served." I was like... Say what? Did he just preach Bible? Here is this little guy in front of doctors and directors, sharing his passion for medicine and mindset of serving others instead of receiving service. I don't know this boy nor do I know if he truly has faith and salvation in Jesus. But I was encouraged of his boldness to proclaim his faith and servant-minded heart. It was awesome and I left the meeting with an enlightened perspective to humbly serve God's people with the mindset that their needs are greater than my own.

On a side note, about a week ago I tried carving a pumpkin for the first time. It was fun for the first 3 minutes... and then I realized I had only carved out less than half an inch through the pumpkin and wasn't strong enough to persevere. So I ended up just drawing the alien's face and ears on the pumpkin and Matt did all the carving. Hehehe.

This picture reminds me of the time before we started dating when I needed furniture in college. So I asked Matt to take me to Ikea and then he built all my furniture for me afterwards. I have no idea how carving a pumpkin led me to this memory.

Finished product. "You have been chosen. Ooo the Claw... " I hope you get my movie reference :)

ta-da !~

The remnants. And the best part. ^^

Monday, Monday

Happy Monday! I normally don't look forward to Mondays because I feel so tired from the weekend, but I've had one of the most relaxing weekends and slept early last night so I'm feeling rejuvenated for this week. Today's especially special because there's a UCLA career fair in a few hours where they give us free stuff and one of my coworkers brought homemade chile rellenos to work. :)

I'm finally getting used to the daily grind of work. It's not as stressful anymore and I even find it enjoyable to be here. It's great not being the newbie anymore. We've been getting a lot of volunteers from UCLA next door and I've been assigned to interview and assign work to them. It's been so fun getting to know these collegians and it reminds me of when I used to volunteer at the Torrance Memorial Hospital when I was a senior in high school. It makes me want to help them even more because I know how helpful it was for me. The one bad thing is that I accept almost everyone I interview and now we have over twelve volunteers. Oops...They're all just too cute and sweet. :) 

Something that I've been hashing through recently: What it means to fight for joy.
I've heard this phrase thrown around so many times in sermons, conversations, etc but it wasn't until I really experienced circumstances where I needed to 'fight for joy' that this phrase actually became meaningful. I can't even describe the countless times I've fought back the heaviness of discouragement or weariness. The terms "Hope in God" "Look to Jesus" were so central in our way of thinking and talking in our Christian community, yet I still struggled to foster a continuous heart of joy. Because my external circumstances were oppressing and my internal emotional condition was weary, my perspective to fight for joy was disheveled: I didn't see a purpose to even fight if I was bound to feel this way again.

After many months I came to the remarkable thought that there will never be a moment where I won't need to "fight for joy." How is this awesome...? Because fighting for this joy in Christ means constantly meditating and thinking about Jesus to the point where our thoughts and actions become shaped by God. It means being so saturated in Jesus and in the Word that all our earthly problems decrease and Christ increases. I see this in pastors at my church, in my dad, even in psalmists in the Bible. Their approach to hardships reveal much about their relationship with God-how even in the midst of tribulation, their hearts are directed towards Jesus with an overflow of praise. It's amazing to see the transformation of our thoughts about life,  emotions, burdens and cares when we are fixed upon Jesus.

I'm getting so much work done right now... Haha. Probably should go take a break now. ;)

Sleepless in Seattle

Good morning! It's 12:37 am and I can't sleep. I'm assuming it's because I'm traveling to Seattle tomorrow morning! I can never sleep the night before I travel. Probably a combination of excitement, worry, and exhaustion. I definitely have a mild case of travel anxiety... Besides not being able to sleep, I am super excited to be able to travel with my roomies who haven't even packed yet! W00t~

Anyway a quick thought before I sleep. If I can describe the past month in one word it would be: 'Waiting.' I realized after I graduated, I am constantly waiting for something new to happen. New job? Different direction in ministry? Relationships? It makes me so eager to want to know my future. At the same time though it made me think of why God has allowed so much of our lives to be consumed by waiting. I'm seeing how much God values the fruit produced in the soul that learns to wait patiently for him. He takes pains to cultivate this in us. Such pains only lead us to gain trust and dependence in our Lord and produces hope as He never fails us and His promises remain secure. I am thankful that I can learn to trust God's promises as it is really developing my capacity to hope in eternal life. Practicing every day not to trust in my perceptions and emotions but on His promises.

I should probably try to sleep now. Sigh. I think another reason I can't sleep is because Matt is still up studying for his last final tomorrow. Wish I had something to study so I can stay up with him. Can't believe I'm saying this, but I really do miss college finals week. There really is nothing like staying up with your friends all night and... studying. HAHA. Okay I really must be tired.
This is Matt trying to frown but failing hardcore... And I just look like Squidward. Yay.

So proud of this good lookin' feller. 

Seriously contemplating on whether to watch "Sleepless in Seattle" or not. Title is kind of ironic... I love Meg Ryan. And Tom Hanks and Seattle! But mostly SLEEP! ><

Good night!

Milk Teeth

It's nearly the end of October. This means that Christmas is near. Yay!! Honestly, it's sad that Thanksgiving is neglected every year. That happens when you're shadowed by Christmas. Don't get me wrong. I love Thanksgiving. It's the only holiday that's not tied to excessive commercialism and expensive gift giving. And there's something special about gathering those we care about most so that we can all feast together and enjoy each other's company. Although I do enjoy Thanksgiving, can't deny that Christmas is my favorite holiday. :)

I am currently at a coffee, tea, and boba place in LA. I drove down spontaneously from Irvine to see my mom who's flying in from Korea tonight. I've missed her so much. I downloaded Kakao again just so I can talk and chat with her. I've already sent her 18 messages and still no reply after 2 weeks... Sigh. I just like to think she or someone else out there is reading my messages.

Anyway, I've been trying to cut down on buying drinks. Iced teas, coffees, milk teas, smoothies... It's become a habit to purchase some kind of drink to have with me while I study. You would think it's harmless but then at the end of the month you look back on where all your money went and where the excessive weight gain is coming from. ICED DRINKS, I tell you! Milk teas in particular... Very deceiving. This is often brought up to my attention by Matt who's in dental school now and who has recently held more concern and interest regarding the health of my teeth. Hahaha. Apparently a regular sized milk tea boba drink is 38 grams of sugar which is equivalent to nearly 3 tablespoons of sugar. (Minus the carbohydrates.) I guess I can see how damaging that can be to your teeth. I've associated milk tea and teeth together so that when I hear one I automatically think of the other. Milk teeeeth. Sigh... failed.

So here I am, ironically in a milk tea and coffee shop, writing this post, and feeling sad that I can't drink more boba. So then instead... we got Blockheads shaved ice right next door. :)        

Artichoke looking shaved ice! This was delicious. And the price of one boba. Good deals=good meals.

Green tea and black sesame. SO GOOD! Thank you!

Taking some of LA back with me. Go Bruins!... hehe. zot zot. :)

Today was a good day. Good day ya'll!

Praying my IOU'S

A quick blog post before my next class in thirty minutes.

I have to admit, I don’t finish books that often. I start a lot of them, but don’t finish many. And although I am easily moved and convicted by the things I read, rarely do I consistently practice them.

But here is something I read in one of Piper’s books called “When I Don’t Desire God: How to Fight for Joy” that I’ve actually found extremely  helpful and something I practice on a normal basis. 

I was reminded of it once again as I found myself not starting the morning with God. I was about to dive into the daily grind as I normally do, rather than spend a few quiet moments with Him in the word and prayer. But gladly the Spirit won. May it help and bless you as it has for me. 

Before having a devotional, this is what I pray…

I – Incline my heart.

“The first thing my soul needs is an inclination toward God and His Word. I must want to know God and read His word and draw near to him…Very simply, we ask God to take our hearts, which are more inclined to breakfast and the newspaper, and change that inclination.We are asking God to create desires that are not there.”

Incline my heart to your testimonies, and  not to selfish gain! -Psalm 119:18

O- Open the eyes of my heart.

“I need to have the eyes of my heart opened so that when my inclination leads me to the Word, I see what is really there, and not just my own ideas.”

Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.  -Psalm 119:18
Open the eyes of my heart, O Lord, to see what it says about you as wonderful.

U- Unite my heart.

“My heart is badly fragmented. Parts of it are inclined, and part of it are not…What I long for is a united heart where all the parts say a joyful YES! to what God reveals in His word.

Unite my heart to fear your name. -Psalm 86:11
His delight shall be in the fear of the LORD. -Isaiah 11:3

S- Satisfy me.

“What I really want from all this engagement with the Word of God and the work of his Spirit in answer to my prayer is for my heart to be satisfied with God and not with the world.”

Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. -Psalm 90:14

To all the people out there who are struggling to find joy in the Lord, or not finding joy in life period….let’s take a moment to go back to the source of joy. Let’s pray our IOU’S, and wait in expectation as God opens the flood gates of joy from His Word and Spirit into our lives!

Material taken from: Piper, John. When I Don’t Desire God, pg 151-152.