soojin : winin' & dinin'

Hello! I was telling Matt earlier this week that ever since we got married, it's been harder to journal or blog consistently now that I always have someone near me who I could share my inner musings, thoughts, and stories with. Haha. But now that he's off break and back in school zone, I have more time on my hands and I hope to write more consistently.
This past weekend, we spent the weekend up in Calistoga, Napa and San Fran with my family. It was a much needed getaway and I'm grateful for my dad for planning our itinerary to make this trip so eventful. Although we were greeted by grey clouds and misty fog, we were surrounded by ethereal foliage, vineyards, delicious farm-to-table food and grape juice the whole weekend. :) We visited multiple vineyards, went wine tasting, ate delicious foods, bread, and cheese, and lounged by the spa bar that was infused with mineral water from below Earth's surface. It was nice to be together again under the same roof, and I realized how much I miss my whole family and us physically being together.
Since our weekend Napa trip, Matt and I both caught a cold and today we spent all day indoors catching up on rest. We spent the day sleeping in, preparing meals, watching Disney Channel (a movie called the Descendants where the Disney villain's children become good...excellent movie.), and doing three loads of laundry. Although uneventful, I enjoy being cooped up in our home, having no agenda except to spend time with my hubby... that stay-in-bed-until-you-really-have-to-pee kind of feeling.

yep... married life at its finest. at least our living room smelled like laundry..

Being sick always reminds me how weak and incapable I am. No matter how strong I appear to be or how accomplished I feel, it's when I'm in a frail, lowly state that I quickly acknowledge how desperately I need to rely on and how much I am in need of Christ.
On a similar note, God has been revealing to me that I really can't do anything by my own power. To be more specific, in the past few months, there have been many accounts in which I've tried hard to 'serve' my husband but was left feeling inadequate, discouraged and sad. December was a crazy month for the both of us. Matt had seven finals to study for and the week after were his long-awaited board exams. Seeing my husband under so much mental distress and pressure, I quickly resorted to 'serving' him by my own strength: preparing hot meals, making sure his work space was neatly organized, being his chauffeur to and from his test centers so he didn't have to take the bus, and occasional massages since he was glued to his seat most of the day. These are all great things, and I'm sure my mom would have been proud... Matt felt so thankful and much to our delight, he ended up doing well on his exams and passed the boards (YAY!).
But in all honesty, I wasn't serving my husband joyfully... in fact, it felt like a task and I often grew weary and tired. On days I didn't receive the kind of praise I wanted to for the 'good work' I thought I had put in, I grew discouraged and retreated to my pity partying. (I need to stop doing that. Haha) After talking with Matt and few older women at church weeks later, I realized the most crucial part that was missing was prayer. I lacked quiet time and devotion to communing with God. Never once in those weeks did I really sit down and pray for my husband. I neglected to ask God for internal strength that I would love and serve my husband joyfully. I had forgotten that what my and Matt's heart needed most is God- to know him and trust him and love him and obey him. It made so much sense why I grew exhausted. I learned to devote time each day to pray for myself and for Matt that Christ would intervene in our weakness so we could better love and serve each other the way Christ loved and served.
take home lesson: The best wife, friend, daughter, sister that I can be is one who devotes time to pray for him/her.
"Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving." Colossians 4:2

Snap shots from our trip: